cc_afraidThis is the biggest question I’m asking myself everyday.  Its not easy to answer and the answer changes everyday.  So I ask you… What are you afraid of?  Think about it, think deep.  Its not easy if you’re honest with yourself.  I’m going to attempt to answer it here.

To be honest I’m afraid of many things, but none that really slow me down from doing what I love.  I’m afraid of dying most.  I relate to Woody Allen’s quote about death most… “I’m not afraid to die.  I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”.  I know its gonna happen, but not looking forward to it.  I have so much to do!!!  Not existing is a strange thing to think about, but I do.  The idea of not being here is sad.  I think its why I’m working so hard at being healthy, being grateful, being nice and helping others.  I guess you could call this my mid-life crisis.  Not a bad thing, just interesting.

Some of the little things that I’m afraid of is not be able to shoot & create.  I hate the idea of not being able to do what I love.  I’ve been doing it my whole life and I can’t imagine not doing it.  Ugh.  Also I’m afraid of losing the people I love.  I have lost many friends through the years for many different reasons and it never gets any easier.  When you care and truly love someone… Losing them sucks.  I’ve been blessed to have so many amazing people in my life for so many years.  I really do think its my greatest achievement… Quality relationships!

Last, this one is easy… My health.  Having serious back problems this last year has ruined just about everything.  I was never one to take my health for granted, but this bad back has made me think more than ever.  I’m reminded by my doctor all the time that I’m not 25 anymore.  I’m also told that getting old is not for the weak.  All I know is that it takes more work than ever to do the things I took for granted when I was 25.  Gotta take care of me, so I can take care of everyone else.